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the only way it starts up (I mean, goes to a map) is if I have "dedicated" set to "No".
Wait... so you have that console style window with a blue background and the last lines are these Hitch Warnings?
Because i would think that this is your server console then. have you every tried keeping that window open and check whether you can see the server or not?
Anyway. Best fix i can think of is to run a dedicated server. Only note that once you are connected all commands to the server must be /rcon command
Check out the manual here
its a bit outdated, since its mostly made for 4.1, but the basics are about the same.